Capable He - Nonbinary Month
by friendlyneighborhoodfairy
Summary: {Nonbinary Month #5} Living a dual life and lying about your gender, someone is bound to find out the truth. Laxus and Freed wind up in the same nightclub on the same night, and when they make eye contact, bad things happen. Soft smut.
1. Anxiety & Nightclubs

**A/N:** Fairy Tail + trans man. Soft-smut in the last chapter.

* * *

 **Capable He**

 **Chapter 1 - Anxiety and Nightclubs**

Freed was the most capable person Laxus knew: she seemed to know about every form of magic and had read every book in her personal library (which was extensive). Basically, she was brilliant.

He'd wanted the rune mage on his team since he first met her. Forever, if possible. He recruited her immediately, not only because she was powerful, but also for her loyalty and kindness. She was reliable in the worst of circumstances.

Powerful and loyal were the basic descriptors of all the Raijinshuu, but it was especially true of Freed, and that's why the other two nominated her as their captain.

The Dragon Slayer couldn't have asked for a more awesome team. Laxus sometimes teased them that he only picked them because they were all women or (in Bickslow's case) aromantic. It wasn't quite a rule on the team that they wouldn't date each other, but they obeyed it anyway. None of them liked drama—another reason the four of them got along.

Just back from a job, they headed to the house the Raijinshuu rented, Laxus tagging along, less comfortable in Magnolia these days and in need of comfortable things.

"Any plans tonight?" Evergreen asked him.

Tonight. Ugh. Since they were back in town, he had to sleep at home.

"Drinking," he decided. "Unless the guild is too loud. You?"

"I'm going out with a friend." A private smile tipped up her face that made him curious. But if it were a date, he knew better than to ask. Evergreen said less the more you pushed. He'd have to smell her later.

"Bickslow? Freed?" Laxus asked, not wanting to face Fairy Tail alone. "Want to join?"

"Happily," Bickslow said, but Freed shook her head.

"I have a book to read."

Laxus grinned, his first genuine one all day. "Just one?"

"Why would there be more?" she asked.

"Because one book will take you, what, a half hour?"

Ever chortled and Freed went red.

Poor Freed got teased the most out of all of them because she was good at so many things, but couldn't seem to see them herself. It wasn't humility: Freed honestly didn't think herself above average, and that had bugged Laxus for a long time, but it didn't interfere with her abilities, so he let it lie. Everyone had baggage.

While Laxus hovered in the doorway waiting for Bickslow to put his things away, Ever went off to dress up and Freed puttered around the house, cleaning random surfaces. There was no book on her person, just skittish energy.

Laxus opened his mouth to ask if something was up when she spoke first.

"I'll take that for you," she said, grabbing his pack before he could reach for it.

"It's fine," he insisted. Freed did too much for him already. "I'm going home after a few drinks."

"You don't want this burdening you while you relax, Laxus." She gave him a tired smile. "Besides, it's you: you'll forget it at the guild and be even grumpier."

"Yeah, probably," he admitted, scrubbing a hand through his hair.

Pausing, Freed aimed a glance at him that didn't quite hit home.

"I…understand hating home," she said. "I'm sorry we have to be here. I'll find us a mission tomorrow."

Laxus shifted. She had a way of _seeing_ him. She'd once said his house haunted him, and that was the perfect word: abandoned just like him.

"Do you not like going home either?" he asked.

"No."

"People suck?" he asked, realizing he'd never heard her talk about her family.

"People suck," she agreed.

Silence stretched. He wanted to ask more questions, but her frown discouraged it. Ironic, because for once he almost wanted to talk about the emptiness of home, just to hear someone felt the same way.

Relief twisted his gut when Bickslow emerged and said, "Ready?"

* * *

When they arrived, Fairy Tail was rowdier than usual. Dragneel and Fullbuster were going at it again; Loke had an even larger group of fanpeople and several were squealers; and Cana and Mirajane were glaring at each other so darkly there was practically a cloud over the hall—something about Mira cutting Cana off. After only one drink, his head was splitting like a bad hangover.

Sneering, he pushed the empty cup away from himself.

"I'm leaving," he told Bickslow.

"Already?"

"Fucking migraine."

Bickslow grimaced. "You can sleep at our place. Freed's the best at taking care of people and you know she enjoys making you feel better."

That was undeniably true: somehow Laxus had gotten into her good books and never fallen from grace, though he should've by now. And Freed's presence was calming, even if he'd never seen _her_ relax.

"I think she'd rather read her book," Laxus replied. "It's just a headache."

Outside, the cool night was an instant balm, clearing his head as he walked toward home. His steps dragged on the familiar streets. He really didn't want to go home. Idiot—he should've taken Bickslow up on the offer to sleep on their sofa.

As Laxus turned a corner, music drifted out of Nichou, his favorite bar, a medium-sized crowd visible through its doors. Though not strictly a gay bar, it mostly attracted that demographic. If he felt like flirting (which was less and less these days), Nichou was the place.

Maybe he'd get another drink or two before entering his empty house. Anything to avoid that, really.

Stepping in the door, he angled for the bar, sliding between patrons and appreciating several toned bodies before settling down to order. Nice asses present tonight.

Awaiting his drink, he saw tumbling brown hair and jolted. Short silhouette, green dress—Evergreen. She was meeting her friend here? Probably just friends then. Maybe she was the wingman.

A young man further across the room caught his eye: Laxus's age, shorter, and dressed _well_. Not to look good—although he certainly did that—but simply because, his posture said. Clearly someone who knew how to dress for his body, muscled shoulders shown off not by a too-tight shirt, but a well-tailored jacket. Damn.

The man had his back to Laxus, but Laxus continued staring even when his drink came. Here was someone he wouldn't mind dreaming about tonight. The man's ponytail swayed under the colored lights when he moved, and his purposeful gestures as he conversed… Seriously. Laxus hadn't come here intending to flirt, but maybe he should make an exception.

Finally tugging his eyes away, Laxus stared into his glass trying to calm his thoughts. _Too fast, idiot,_ he told himself, cracking a true smile for the second time that day. Didn't want to sprout a hard-on, or think himself into being in love with a fantasy. Chortling, he took a drink. Clearly he didn't get out enough.

 _Or this guy's much hotter than the average person._

When Laxus next looked around, people had shifted and obscured his view, but he saw Evergreen still standing alone.

Suddenly a ponytail swung into view and the gorgeous man walked up to her. Damn all the gods. _Please don't be straight_.

As he spied on them, the crowd shifted and gave him a clear view. Several faces hit him at once.

There was Evergreen's soft smile: not flirtatious, more like a big sister. So she wasn't into this guy, thankfully.

There was also the young man, clean-shaven and _very_ attractive.

And then there was Freed of all people, her expression relaxed in a way he hadn't seen ever.

Laxus's brain held these last two faces simultaneously, the man and Freed. Stuck in some warring loop, unable to make sense of the fact that these two faces were the same person.

A young man…who was definitely Freed, whom he'd known for years, who was definitely a _woman_.

As he stared, the-attractive-man-who-was-Freed checked their watch and ducked their head toward the exit. Evergreen nodded and the two turned toward the door—toward Laxus.

He knew he was gaping. Couldn't stop.

Freed's gaze slid toward him, a warrior's sixth sense that someone was watching…

Her eyes met Laxus's and her expression transformed in shock.

Laxus still gaped. It was too loud, too loud in here. This wasn't… _What?_

Gasping, Freed reeled back a step and bumped into Evergreen. Following Freed's eyes, Ever jerked to a stop. Laxus could read the _'shit'_ on her lips. Grabbing Ever's hand, Freed shouldered her way toward the exit, not looking at Laxus as she moved around a group, avoiding him—

"Freed, wait," he said, not loud enough, but when he moved in their direction, Freed sped up, practically dragging Ever after her. "Freed!"

Several heads turned; Laxus knew she'd heard. Freed darted out the door.

Dropping a bill on the bar, Laxus bounded out after them. He looked both ways before he saw the pair—running, already halfway down the block.

 _Freed_. Gods dammit. What the hell?

He didn't sleep that night, his whirling thoughts compounded by being home. The high ceiling echoed his emotions back at him without reply, its silence a mockery.

Besides the obvious question of why Freed would dress as a guy, which circled his brain in an unbroken cycle all night, there was the more insidious question of why he'd found her so attractive. _Not her,_ he repeated over and over: it was a suave young man who attracted him. That was not the Freed he'd spent a majority of his waking hours with the last few years. He'd briefly fallen for a fantasy person with a sharp and well-groomed figure. They didn't exist.

When the morning light bloomed, Laxus pulled the comforter futilely over his eyes, layered in new levels of exhaustion.

When he showed up on his teammates' stoop, it was early but nobody would fault him, all aware how much he hated being home. Besides, coming early usually meant getting in on Freed's excellent breakfasts.

Not this morning. A solemn Bickslow let Laxus in.

"She's sick," Bickslow said without preamble.

"They told you?"

"Just that something happened out at a bar. Not what."

"I think I saw something I shouldn't have," Laxus admitted.

Bickslow led him silently to the kitchen, where half-fixed food littered the counter. Bickslow passed him burnt toast and they munched at the table in silence.

Footsteps made Laxus straighten. Rounding the corner, Ever saw him and stopped.

"Morning," he said.

"Freed's ill," she announced. "Has a fever. Sicked up twice. I doled out painkillers and insisted on bedrest. I joked about attaching chains to the bed—you know how antsy Freed gets—but snores followed me out of the room."

Ever ended on a breathless note, as if filling every square centimeter of air with sound would force the pain away.

"Fuck, what happened?" Bickslow asked in concern. "Did she drink too much?"

"No." Ever's mouth twisted. "Freed was…exposed in a very intimate way, and, um…body is reacting."

"Fuck!" Bickslow shouted. "You mean someone—?!"

"No," Laxus and Ever said at the same time.

"Oh, good. Gods." Bickslow put his head on the table. "You freaked me out."

Laxus stared down at his palms. Freed's body was reacting. To being seen. Laxus seeing her doing something Ever called intimate. What did that mean?

"Freed hasn't been sick since…I don't remember," Bickslow murmured. "She's the one that takes care of us."

"About time we pay it back." Ever sighed. "I was going to make broth, but I don't have ingredients. Would you two pick things up?"

Bickslow jumped to his feet, but Laxus frowned.

"What about you?" he asked.

"I'm staying with Freed."

He had no fucking idea what her hooded gaze meant.

 **Chapter 2 - Illness and Books**

* * *

 **A/N:** Part 1 of a threeshot. Poor Freed. ;;w;; Confused Laxus is both infuriating and sweet.


	2. Illness & Books

**Chapter 2 - Illness and Books**

"Your turn," Bickslow said, coming into the living room.

Laxus wasn't even pretending to read the book in his lap.

"My turn?"

"To watch Freed. Ever's finally sleeping and I have to run and grab things. It's like Ever said, right?" Bickslow's smile was sad. "It's our turn to pay her back."

"What do I do?" Laxus asked, less and less certain at the prospect of being Freed's caretaker.

Bickslow shrugged. "Get her whatever she needs. Be nearby in case she throws up and needs help."

When Laxus entered the small bedroom, it smelled of old paper. He'd never been in here but wasn't surprised to see books were the sole decoration. On the bed, Freed lay curled with her hands by her face and hair splayed behind her. A chair nearby testified to the last day and half of Raijinshuu observation. Whatever she had, she was really, really sick, and Ever had stayed by Freed's side until falling asleep in the chair after almost twenty-four hours, getting Bickslow to take over.

Quietly, Laxus took a seat, nervous. Freed didn't react to his presence. She was so pale she could've been dead, her sleeping breaths too slow to see. There was only the pounding strain of her heart to tell Laxus she was alive, and that wasn't much better.

As the hours passed, he didn't take his eyes off her.

Fever dreams made her fitful on and off. At one point, Freed woke up enough to talk, making no sense—a jumble of asking what Laxus was doing over and over, muttering about phonemes, and protesting against wearing skirts, which Laxus had never seen her wear _ever_. He was pretty sure she didn't own any.

He tried to get her to drink water, but she pushed him away. Grabbing his hand, she said, "Don't tell anyone. I don't want you to know."

"Okay," he said, confused, trying to get her to drink again. Her grip was fragile, making him afraid he'd break her, but at the same time he wanted to keep holding those sweaty fingers if it would keep her here in the real world.

Freed fell back against the pillow and closed her eyes.

"I like boys," she muttered.

"Apparently," Laxus said, but she had slipped under again.

Her red-flushed face and the heat coming off her freaked him out. Were you supposed to let the fever burn out, or cool the body down? Out of his depth, all he could do was listen to every painful sound.

Staring down at her, a strange nostalgia came over him. It was nice to be taking care of her for once, instead of the other way around. So many times she—he? they?—had backed him up, defended him. He didn't like admitting he needed anyone, even now, but he knew his life was a lot better with Freed around. Smiling, he pulled a stray strand of hair away from her face.

For those few minutes in Nichou, she'd been really attractive. If Freed were male? Yeah, he could fall for her. She was strong, capable, and deadly with a sword. She knew the value of calm and quiet and understood Laxus in a way others didn't.

If she were a he, he'd be Laxus's type. Which was breaking the rules. But rules were Freed's thing, not Laxus's.

So it wasn't weird, he decided, that he'd lusted after her. Someone could have a vaj and bleed every month and be an incredible man. And have an amazing masculine physique and fantastic man-ass. Which, now that he thought about it, she'd always kind of had.

It didn't make perfect sense to him, but that was okay.

* * *

Bickslow got medicine for Freed—a concoction, actually, which included both relief for her symptoms and something for anxiety. That last bit was something he had to go to Porlyusica for; how he'd convinced her to help, Laxus couldn't guess.

Evergreen woke shortly thereafter, the three convening in Freed's doorway. Laxus kept his eyes on Freed as Bickslow explained what he'd bought.

"She should take it immediately," Bickslow said.

"I'll do it," Ever said. "Freed should wake up anyway."

"I thought sleep was good for her?" Bickslow protested.

"With a fever this high…I'm worried."

"She woke for a little while," Laxus rumbled. "Wasn't making any sense."

Ever nodded. "Say anything particular?"

"No," he grunted.

She didn't push.

When she insisted on taking over at Freed's bedside, Laxus left reluctantly, hunched and protective. Freed was a friend to all of them, but Laxus had known her the longest: she was the first teammate he ever had. Ever acted like Laxus would deliberately freak Freed out if he stayed.

Irked, he returned to sitting on the sofa with nothing to do. Picking up a book that appeared brand new, Laxus forced himself to focus on the words and not the confused worries scuttling around his mind.

When he finally did, the book drew him in. It was quite good: about gender, sociopolitics, and the science of sex. He reached someone's bookmark pressed between pages and read on.

"You know," Bickslow interrupted at one point, "you can sleep. It's two in the morning."

Laxus blinked up at him.

"I don't feel like going home."

"You could sleep here," Bickslow said. "One of us is going to be awake at all times, so there's a spare bed."

"I'll stay up."

"Laxus." Bickslow gave him a look the Dragon Slayer associated with Freed—the raised eyebrow right before she told him off. "Come on, man. We've been awake for hours. It's not going to make her better. You don't want to get sick yourself."

"H— She isn't infectious: she's distressed," Laxus pointed out. "Just in case she gets worse, I want to be available."

"Ever just told me Freed's doing better."

Laxus straightened. "Really?"

"The medicine helped a lot." Bickslow sighed. "Do Freed a favor and get some rest. Someone's got to take over for Ever when she gets tired, so I'm going to bed."

"I'm good. This book is really interesting."

Bickslow glanced at the cover.

"Nonfiction? I never thought I'd hear _you_ say that about Freed type of book."

Laxus shrugged. "Mock me all you want. It's good."

"You're turning into Freed. She's going to be impressed." Bickslow moved toward the hall, stopping to look over his shoulder. "You sure you're gay?"

"Fuck off," Laxus growled.

Bickslow raised his hands. "Whatever. Bad joke. Sorry. I'm going to sleep."

"'Night," Laxus said absently, already immersing himself in his book. No need to over-think the comment.

* * *

Around dawn, the sound of Freed's door made Laxus look up. Stretching, Ever startled.

"You're awake already?" she asked.

"How's Freed?" he said without answering.

"Much better." The relief in Ever's voice made Laxus relax for the first time in ages. "Conscious, intelligible, and fever's gone way down. Also bored to tears. Asked me to grab a book…that one, actually."

"It's really good."

"I'd expect nothing less. Freed has good taste." She reached for it.

"I'm still reading."

"Really, Laxus? You're prioritizing your own entertainment over our invalid?"

"Gods, Ever, I'm two pages from the end."

"Oh." She yawned. "Sorry. I'm tired."

"You should rest."

"I'm waiting on someone's book."

"I'll take it to Freed," he said. "Sleep. I'll take the next shift."

"Laxus, Freed's _awake_." She bit her lip. "You understand why this happened, don't you?"

"No, Ever." He gave her a piercing look. "I don't."

Ever threw up her hands. "It's not my place to say."

"Keeping us apart isn't going to make anything better."

She let out a long sigh.

"Freed's only just feeling okay."

"I'll be nice." He raised an eyebrow. "I do know how to do that."

"Do you?" she snorted, poking him, and he smiled. "Alright, fine. Just hurry up and bring Freed that book already."

"Stop interrupting me," he shot back.

Chuckling, Ever walked to her room, calling, "Wake me if you need anything. Or if…you know."

"I know."

 _If Freed doesn't want to see me_.

* * *

When Laxus knocked, a quavering voice said, "Come in."

Sitting up amid a cocoon of blankets, Freed looked exponentially better, lucid, not as pale, hair tucked back. The blinds were drawn, and in the natural light Freed seemed less paper-thin and in danger of floating off.

"I brought your book. And water." As Laxus handed the offerings over and took the chair, he asked, "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes." Freed smiled. "Thank you."

"I didn't do anything. But I'm glad."

A pause stretched, awkward.

"It's a really good book," Laxus said.

Freed blinked. "You started it?"

"I finished it."

Freed gaped. "I didn't think I was out _that_ long."

"It's been almost two days. I started reading last night. I'm not slow," he added grumpily.

Sipping the water, Freed smiled. "So what did you think?"

"Logical."

"…Logical?"

"All the stuff about binaries not existing in the wild—since even sex isn't binary, why should gender be."

Laxus leaned back, both engaged and embarrassed.

"I also liked the bit on how the social narrative was shaped a long time ago by a small population which needed to procreate quickly, thus focusing on mating pairs when they created 'gender.' Then power plays into it because we pit genders against each other, reinforcing tribalism, so that you only survive if you align with your assigned 'camp' in the gender war and have a designated place in society… I'm not as eloquent as the author, but it was interesting."

"I haven't gotten to the part about power yet," Freed said. "I left off in the chapter on subconscious gender performance."

"I didn't fully understand that bit," Laxus admitted.

"We shape not only our behavior, but our _desires,_ according to what people expect of us. It's hard to break out of binaries because we mold our very dreams for ourselves according to a binary script, starting when we're children."

"But how does that happen?" Laxus asked. "If at least part of your identity is hardwired, how can you go against that wiring for your whole life and believe that you want something you don't want? At some point, people crack."

"Maybe," Freed said softly. "But don't underestimate the desire to be loved. Being different dishonors our families and loses us the vital connections we need for emotional survival. Fitting in, and especially fitting people's desires for you, is the fastest way to gain relationships."

"Fastest, maybe," Laxus said, "but not easiest. Sacrificing your identity—and doing it so completely you don't realize that's what you've done…I can't imagine that. I can't picture a world where I pretended hard enough to be straight that I no longer _knew_ I'm gay. You can feel when something's wrong."

"But you don't always know what's missing."

Laxus nodded slowly. "True."

"Why do you hate your home?" Freed asked.

Laxus laughed darkly. "Because I had a shitty father."

"But Ivan hasn't lived there in years," Freed said. "If I recall, he hated that house—complained about it constantly. You, on the other hand, used to like it there: we played around with our magic all the time there as teens. You have happy memories of that house. But you associate it with Ivan because it's the only thing left in your life that's connected to him. Even though it's yours, you've tied certain emotions to that house, and you can't love it anymore."

Freed gave him a sad smile.

"Same with our identities. Same with sexuality and gender. People can denigrate and deny a part of you so much that it becomes _less_ painful to cut it off than to hold onto all the pain tied to it. So we lie to ourselves, and shut out a part of our soul, and refuse to comprehend why nothing makes us content."

"That's an awful way to live," Laxus said.

"No kidding."

They both stared out the window as the hills turned pale orange.

"I'm glad someone wrote that book," Laxus said.

Freed's head tilted.

"Someone needed to," Laxus said. "People shouldn't live like that."

A soft smile tipped up the side of Freed's mouth.

"No, they shouldn't."

Freed took a breath as if to say more, expression falling into a frown of thought.

After another serene minute, Laxus stood.

"You look a lot better, so I won't sit here and make you crazy…"

"Thank you," Freed chuckled.

"I'll crack the door, so if you need anything at all, I'll hear you, even a whisper."

Freed nodded.

As Laxus left, he caught sight of Freed staring out the window again. That strong profile was dark against the brightening sky beyond, a philosopher in contemplation. That was Freed through and through: a mind incredible enough to touch the stars even when the sun was out.

It hit him: he knew who Freed was. He'd always known. He just hadn't let himself realize it.

* * *

"Laxus."

The quiet syllables got his attention immediately and he rushed to Freed's door. Freed was in the same position as before, swathed in blankets with book in hand.

"What's wrong?" Laxus asked.

"Nothing," Freed said quickly. "I came to the end of a chapter and wanted to talk."

Laxus sat, grinning privately when he saw Freed's bookmark had moved another third of the way through the book in less than an hour.

Fidgeting with the comforter, Freed took a long time to speak. And then, voice steady:

"I'm a man," Freed said.

Laxus stared at him. _I know,_ some part of him said, while another part gaped at the completely new picture of Freed which assimilated in his head—at how easy it was to switch: in an instinctive way, it made perfect sense.

"How long?"

"Always."

"I mean," Laxus gestured, "how long have you known? Did you figure out since joining the team?"

"I knew before I came here. Before I joined Fairy Tail." Freed inhaled, as if bracing for impact. "I figured it out when I was fourteen. My family threw me out. I had some magic, so I got better, started making a living, and when I found the guild…I made a new family. That's why I never talk about them."

Laxus squeezed Freed's hand where it rested atop the blankets. Freed gave him a tired smile.

"Freed…" Laxus swallowed. "Why did you hide? Fairy Tail accepts everyone."

"When my parents kicked me out, I was afraid, so I tried to be ultra-feminine so I could get work and make enough to get by. By the time I became okay with who I was, it was habit and…"

Freed's mouth twisted.

"The thing was…you always said how good it is everyone on our team is a gender or sexuality the others don't find attractive. It keeps us from having romantic issues. Ever is into enbies; I'm supposedly a woman into straight men; Bickslow isn't into anyone romantically; and you're gay. All clear. If I came out…it wouldn't be true anymore."

"Fuck," Laxus breathed. "Because of _that,_ you thought I wouldn't approve? It was a— _terribly insensitive_ —joke."

"Well, it made sense," Freed sighed. "I like men, you like men…you know."

"You're gay, too."

"Yes."

He'd always known Freed's preference, but that switch from straight to gay put Freed in a very different category in Laxus's head. Not a woman who liked men; a man who liked men.

As Freed held his eye, gaze steady, like Laxus was the most important thing in the room…other things from their years of friendship came into focus too.

Freed's relationship with Laxus had been different than with Ever or Bickslow. He'd stuck by Laxus's side through literally every single thing life had thrown at them, even when Freed didn't like it, when others were unsure. He understood Laxus in a special way, like he was constantly paying attention. At the same time, Freed pushed him and challenged him and bickered with him unlike anyone else, but he was also incredibly warm with Laxus. He had a special, happy smile which he only gave his Dragon Slayer.

There had even been that time Laxus was horribly ill and nobody else had wanted to come near him, but Freed stayed in his house with him and did everything that needed to be done. When Laxus was sweat-soaked after two days of fevers, Freed had even helped him bathe, which never mortified Laxus because he'd been too sick to care. But memory of Freed's gentle touches lingered. Freed had always cared for him. A lot.

Reasons why Freed might've worried both of them being out gay men would cause issues…

"You're blushing," Freed croaked. "What inappropriate question do you want to ask?"

Laxus handed him the nearby glass of water, which Freed drank greedily.

"In Nichou that night, you looked—well, amazing," Laxus admitted. "How did you…?"

"Pass?" Freed filled in. "My magic."

"Like your wings?"

"Right."

Freed nodded and took a labored breath—shit, he wasn't recovered and Laxus was straining him.

"It's not perfect and there are some things I can't do," Freed said, "like create a penis. But I can remove stuff."

"…Breasts?"

"Yes. I got rid of them over a year ago."

" _Permanently?_ "

"Yep." Grinning, Freed patted his chest. "Those runes hurt, but it was worth it. I pad each morning to look feminine, which sucks, but I'd rather dress up as a woman than be in a woman's body 'dressing up' as a man."

"Makes sense." Leaning forward, Laxus squeezed his hand again, not letting go this time. "You look really tired, so I don't want to ask more questions."

"Go for it."

"Just one: will you come out to the guild?"

"Now that I'm out to you?" Freed's grip on Laxus's hand tightened. "I guess. They'll make it weird, though. People will act like this is a new thing, when for me it isn't."

"But it's better than them thinking you're a woman."

"Yes."

"You don't have to make a decision. I was just curious." Laxus ducked his head. "Not really my business."

"It's good for me to process this aloud." Freed smiled. "Especially with you."

Laxus couldn't swallow around the lump in his throat. _Breathe, Dreyar_. Freed's words didn't have to mean anything particular. Besides, the man Laxus was…perhaps the best word was _intrigued by_ —might not be real. All Laxus knew was a view of a stranger across a nightclub. This was Laxus's first conversation with that man.

Although he was finding him more and more attractive, even with the dapper clothing replaced by pallor and tangled hair.

"It feels like a milestone seeing you this un-put-together," Laxus teased. "This is a new level of trust for the team."

Freed stuck his tongue out in a very Bickslow-like gesture, smile and all.

"You're only saying that because I'm never sick." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Gods, I'm a complete mess though."

"You look fine." Rolling his eyes kept Laxus from blushing. "This'll help: face the window."

Frowning, Freed did so, breaths growing heavy at the effort. Laxus gathered strands of green hair and began to braid it as best he could.

"Now it won't become impossible."

"Thanks." Freed touched the back of his head. "Nice job."

"Barely passable," Laxus snorted. "It only turned out okay because you have nice hair. I never had siblings to practice on."

"Count yourself lucky. I had three little sisters who got into mischief every chance they could. I did a lot of braiding hair and telling people to put their skirts back on. The youngest got her hair caught in one of her toys and I had to cut it off. Over half a meter gone. Our parents weren't happy."

"Long hair runs in the family?"

"Guess so," Freed laughed. It was a good sound to hear. Running a protective hand over the braid, he said, "I'm going to keep mine when I come out."

"I like how you had it in the club," Laxus said. "It's very you."

He wasn't sure if the comment was okay, but Freed grinned.

"I think it looks rather good on me," he chuckled.

"Damn, yes, it does."

"Are you saying I'm attractive as a man?" Freed teased.

"Yes." Laxus coughed. "You're quite attractive. I wasn't lying when I said that."

Freed flushed, the first bit of color in his cheeks for days.

"That's breaking the rule, Laxus."

"Freed, let's face it: you've always been an attractive person. I just wasn't interested because I thought you were a woman. And you weren't at home in yourself, either: the problem with keeping secrets is that you can never relax. But the man I saw in Nichou the other night? He was handsome and at ease, as well as all the other things you already are."

Freed looked away, face fuchsia.

"Thank you. It means a lot to hear that from someone like you."

Okay, that was flirting. Wasn't it?

"Names," Laxus asked suddenly. "Who are you?"

A beaming smile broke across Freed's face.

"I'm Freed Justine, bodyguard to one of the continent's most incredible mages, and _male_ rune mage of Fairy Tail." Freed held out his hand. "Nice to meet you."

Laxus took his hand in a warm, solid grip.

"Pleasure, Freed Justine."

 **Chapter 3 - Truth and Kisses**

* * *

 **A/N:** Bickslow knows what's up, he's just a terrible communicator. It makes him lovable.

Reviews are love. ^^ How are you lovelies feeling about the nonbinary project so far?


	3. Truth & Kisses

**Chapter 3 - Truth and Kisses**

Still too weak to get about much, Freed called a family meeting in his bedroom. Bickslow exclaimed in surprise when Freed told him his gender, then looked around at Ever and Laxus, shrugged, and said, "That explains a lot of things."

Freed laughed. "What kinds of things?"

"You never were very girly," Bickslow said, prompting Freed and Ever to launch into an explanation of gender stereotypes and queerfeminism. "I get it, sorry," Bickslow laughed. "I meant this fits you. Glad you're open."

Freed smiled. He was doing that more.

Freed had never been dour, but a new peace settled on him as he recovered. The new Freed was confident, relieved, energetic. As if a jittery soul-sickness was finally dying away.

Ever slept for a full day and Laxus took over as Freed's helper, discussing more of the book with him and reading in between times because it turned out Freed had a knack for collecting interesting books. Whenever they looked at each other, eye contact lasted a few seconds longer than it should. The air between them changed so fast, but it didn't feel strange: someone had flipped a switch and the lights were on now.

It took two days before Freed could start doing things for himself, and a week before he was in full working order. To celebrate, he and Laxus trained lightly together, which turned into a magic lesson since Laxus was curious about runes and Freed enjoyed teaching.

When he wasn't at the Raijinshuu home, Laxus busied himself with a secret new project. At some point, his teammates grew curious, forcing Laxus to lock them out of his house, laughing at their ridiculous attempts to guess what he was up to.

A month after Freed's breakdown and several weeks since letting the guild know his true gender (simply showing up as himself—it was quite a moment), Laxus arrived on their doorstep, grabbed Freed, and walked right back out again.

"Where are we going?" Freed asked in bewilderment, hand in Laxus's as the Dragon Slayer led him down the street.

"To show you what I've been doing this month."

Freed's eyes shone with excitement and he hurried to match Laxus's stride.

When they reached the old house which had begun as Yuri and Rita's home a century ago, Laxus stopped out front and looked at Freed. Confused, Freed surveyed the building.

"It's cleaner?"

"Considerably. I don't think the outside has been scrubbed since my mother died. Nearly scrubbed my fingertips off."

"You did it yourself? Ew," Freed teased, making a show of releasing Laxus's hand and wiping his palm on his pants, though this had the unfortunately side effect of them no longer holding hands.

"There's more." Laxus led the way inside, Freed stopping dead in the doorway.

"Oh my god. Laxus…wow."

His reaction made Laxus grin.

"Painting took the longest," he said. "I asked Kinana to pick less depressing colors. She has an eye for that kind of thing."

"You definitely don't."

"If you're referring to my wardrobe choices in my early twenties, let's not even go there."

While Freed chortled, Laxus glanced over his body: Freed's wardrobe had changed considerably since coming out. At the same time, it hadn't changed all that much. He'd always hated overly effeminate clothes…now he simply got to go all the way, in a tailored, Freed-like way. He looked superb.

"So what's all this about?" Freed poked his head through a doorway and drew back in awe. "Just how much did you change?"

"A lot."

"You did all the work yourself? The floors, cabinetry…?"

"Pretty much. Doing it myself helped me."

Biting his lip, Freed asked slowly, "With what?"

"Letting go." Laxus spread his arms. "I'm selling the place."

Freed's jaw dropped.

"Where will you live?"

"With Jijii while I find a new place."

"With _Master_? He must be overjoyed."

"I had to bribe him to keep his mouth shut. I don't need the entire guild knowing I had to move back in with family. At my age."

Freed snorted a laugh, his smile infectious as he stared up at Laxus, the understanding in his eyes encompassing so many things.

"I never thought you'd actually get rid of it," he murmured, voice warm.

"I didn't either." Laxus looked around. "What you said about my memories of this place got to me. I kept the house because I wanted it to be happy again; but my mother isn't coming back, nor is Ivan—I wouldn't want him to, the fucker. But like you said, it doesn't all have to be connected: I can keep the good memories without subjecting myself to everything this house means over and over."

"I said that?"

"You kind of said the opposite," Laxus laughed. "But you meant things which are part of us: we stuff them away if they get too painful. But this place isn't part of me anymore—I've moved on to a better life. So why am I holding onto it? I can keep the good things and still let go."

Stepping closer, Freed smiled up at him. "You seem far more complete having made this decision."

"Thanks."

Hearing Freed inhale, Laxus's heart sped up. He was just so pretty.

"That's what I wanted to show you," the Dragon Slayer said, breathless. "We can head back."

"Wait." Wrapping sudden arms around Laxus, Freed drew him into a hug. "Here's one more not-terrible memory for this place," he murmured. "A comparatively tiny one, but…you know what I mean."

"Freed."

The word drew Freed's gaze up, still embracing Laxus. Touching his fingertips to Freed's face, Laxus traced his jaw and tipped his chin up. Freed didn't draw away.

Laxus kissed him.

Freed's nervous shudder was exquisite, vibrating against Laxus's body. The Dragon Slayer exhaled roughly against Freed's cheek. When Freed's tongue slipped into his mouth and connected with his own, the tension in Laxus's gut burst in a shower of sparks.

"Freed," he groaned.

They stared at each other, so close, wide-eyed and tender, and then Freed wrapped his hands around Laxus's neck and pulled him down for more. Fuck, more. Freed moving against him, wanting him, kissing him.

Sliding his hands along Freed's sides, Laxus kissed a passionate trail down Freed's neck, sucking on hard tendons and making Freed moan. When Freed pushed him against the wall, the assertiveness made Laxus's blood race. Grinding against Laxus, Freed kissed him heavily, calloused palms framing his face, and Laxus felt exhilarated—Freed was this turned on _for him._

With Freed in control, Laxus gripped him with shaking fingers, entering Freed's mouth, letting Freed slip under his shirt and scratch his skin.

"Fuck," Laxus gasped, shooting harder. "Holy shit. You kiss even better in real life."

"You fantasize about me?"

"Did you think all the flirting was fake?"

"Definitely not." Freed's smile twitched. "I like hearing you say it, though."

The Dragon Slayer raised a cocky eyebrow, but inside his pulse was throbbing. The rune mage's fingers crept back under his shirt and dragged at the skin.

"Oh gods," Laxus muttered, melting.

"You're so easy." Freed leaned his forehead against Laxus's shoulder. "This is so breaking the rules."

"There aren't any rules, Freed."

"Unspoken."

"The only rule is respect." Laxus drew back so he could look Freed in the eye. "Do you feel respected?"

"Yes."

"Well then."

"Laxus."

Freed inhaled, and Laxus wasn't sure how he was going to finish that sentence.

"Please kiss me again."

The Dragon Slayer swept Freed into another long kiss and when Freed took over, the brazenness was the most attractive thing Laxus had ever experienced. Pressing Laxus to the wall, Freed pinched his ass and got an undignified whimper in response, Laxus moving closer into his embrace. He wasn't the least bit ashamed by his own surrender.

Kissing Freed's neck made the rune mage winded, which in turn made Laxus grin. As he fiddled with the top button of Freed's shirt, Freed gently took his hands.

"Before you do this," Freed whispered, "I need you to understand. This body won't be like others you've touched. And there are scars."

"Scars?" Laxus asked in alarm.

"On my chest, from the magic."

Relieved, Laxus kissed his forehead.

"My body might not be what we want it to be…" Freed continued. "It might be disappointing. It may be hard to work around. But it's what I've got."

"I'd like the chance to make up my own mind," Laxus said in a quiet growl. "Don't decide for me."

"Oh. Okay." Freed pushed long hair behind an ear. "I just wanted to warn you."

Laxus sucked the newly-bare skin along Freed's jaw and Freed groaned.

"Are you warning me because you're afraid I'll leave?" Laxus asked softly, lips brushing his throat.

"You're attracted to men, so it stands to reason you'd be attracted to proper male bodies," Freed stammered, breathless as Laxus kept kissing him.

Laxus kissed the soft skin under Freed's ear and Freed gasped: despite his arguing, he was clearly conceding to Laxus's attention.

"You act like you have to see a person naked to know if they're attractive," Laxus muttered. "But you are so damn hot. You turned me on in Nichou, and that hasn't changed."

Laxus tugged Freed's hips even closer to illustrate his point. It was more stimulating than he expected, his brain whiting out for a moment. Freed ground against him groaning, "Holy shit…"

Freed grasped Laxus's chin and guided him in for a kiss. Asking tactile permission, Laxus hovered his fingers at Freed's buttons again.

"You may," Freed said into his mouth.

So Laxus removed Freed's shirt, slow because Freed's tongue was distracting him. As Freed let the garment slide off his shoulders, Laxus was still kissing him. Eyes closed. He wanted to appreciate Freed's body, get his fill, but would looking making Freed nervous? He'd never seen Freed shirtless. He wanted to see.

Hands around Freed's waist, Laxus leaned back and took him in. Corded arms; ridged scars on his chest where runes had changed that part of his appearance; his toned abdomen. As Freed swallowed, the tendons in his neck stood out, and that was sexy too.

"Goddamn, you're ripped," Laxus said hoarsely.

Freed chuckled, biting his lip. "I work out as much as you do."

"Damn…" Laxus slid his hands up Freed's muscles, then stopped. "I can touch you, right? This is okay?"

"Yes." Freed released a tense breath and smiled. "This is more than okay."

Trailing his fingers over Freed's body, Laxus marveled in the warmth of his skin and watched his awed expressions. Freed's sigh of pleasure made shivers break over his skin. Laxus kissed his eyebrow and got a happy hum in response.

When he touched the end of one of the scars, Freed flinched. Laxus drew back.

"Sorry, it's fine," Freed said immediately, flushing. "I didn't expect it to be so sensitive. No one's touched my scars before."

He took Laxus's hand and drew it back to his chest.

A little nervous, Laxus ran his palms down Freed's body, surprised at the moan this pulled out of him. Laxus kept caressing and kissing, while Freed continued grinding across the _very_ hard bulge of his trousers. At some point Freed dispensed with Laxus's shirt and sucked his nipple, causing Laxus to swear loudly.

Propping one knee against the wall at Laxus's side and trapping him further, Freed increased the pressure between them. While Laxus grabbed his ass, Freed sucked a hicky onto the side of his neck, high and visible. A roll of his hips had Laxus grunting and gripping him harder. Laxus got lost in their frantic movements and eager sounds.

Freed coming was a beautiful thing. He broke away from the kiss, his eyes slid shut, and he held Laxus painfully hard to keep him from moving away. Laxus soaked up the desperation on Freed's face, kissed every centimeter he could reach as Freed mewled his name, the scent of sex everywhere.

All it took was Freed grating against him for Laxus to come in his pants. Shaking, he held tight to Freed while the world spun around him, and Freed leaned up to kiss his mouth.

As Freed resettled on both feet, their chests touched, naked skin on naked skin. They stared at each other without saying anything. Laxus could only think one thing: Freed looked so strong when he was vulnerable.

Glancing down, Freed smirked. "Oops. Did I do that?"

A wet spot had soaked through the front of Laxus's pants.

"Good thing I haven't moved out yet," Laxus chuckled. "Guess I should change."

"One more of these first," Freed murmured, stretching up to kiss him. "Just to finish things off."

The kiss turned into an embrace, cuddling against the wall for a long moment.

When Freed pulled away, he self-consciously hunched his shoulders, hair spilling across his chest like a curtain. Laxus wondered if he felt weird walking around shirtless.

He pushed Freed's hair behind his ear so he could get another look at him. Gods, he was so gorgeous.

Laxus found Freed's hand.

"I don't want this to just be a sex thing," the Dragon Slayer muttered. "I want this to be an everything thing."

"Are you asking me out?" Freed asked, smiling.

"Dinner tonight?"

Freed blinked. "Tonight?"

"Unless you're busy."

"I'm not," Freed said quickly. He chuckled, self-conscious. "I didn't know you wanted me that bad."

"I saw a hot guy in Nichou and had to wait a month to get a date with him," Laxus said gruffly. Staring at Freed was turning him on again. "Gods, please put your shirt on—you're too damn attractive."

Grinning, Freed gave the front of Laxus's pants another suggestive look and went to find his clothes on the floor.

When Laxus reemerged, Freed was leaning in the hall smiling. Though crisp and put-together, a glow still radiated from him. That Laxus could physically satisfy Freed made him feel he could do anything.

And Freed…Freed could truly do anything. He was the most capable person Laxus knew—not just in life, but in courage, honesty, and letting go.

Freed took his hand and nodded to the door.

"Shall we? Don't want to defile this house even more right before you sell it."

"It could probably handle being defiled a time or two more. It's a sturdy house."

Freed's laugh followed them out in to the street. It caught on the wind, chasing after them as they returned from dinner that night, contagious, like Freed was just that full of happiness. That happiness spilled over until Laxus's chest was full and tight.

"This might be premature," Laxus said as they strolled down the street, "but maybe…after a few more dates…you'd consider being my boyfriend."

Freed stopped short and put a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. Laxus slammed his mouth shut. Shit.

"Boyfriend," Freed whispered. "Not girlfriend."

The awe in his face was the most beautiful and heart-breaking thing Laxus had ever seen.

"I don't date women, Freed," he said softly. "Only men. Like you."

Freed's smile twisted with emotion.

"Just like you," Laxus continued. "Strong arms, nice ass…"

"I see your true motive," Freed chuckled, the words tight and happy.

"I don't _just_ want your body," Laxus said with a mock-pout, knowing Freed would flush red, and enjoying the vulnerability on his face.

"I'm glad you want my body," Freed murmured, quiet, as if hoping Laxus wouldn't hear.

"I didn't decide on principal to 'be okay' with you. If you'd asked me a few months ago what I thought about dating trans partners, I wouldn't have had an answer," Laxus admitted. "I was simply attracted to you, independent of anything else. So this might sound presumptuous, but…I think you can trust I won't just stop finding you hot."

Freed swallowed. "Thanks. That actually means a lot."

Grinning at this affirmation, Laxus swung their hands, feeling like a little kid—which he hadn't felt on a date in a long time.

"Let's find someplace to get dessert."

Freed caught his grin. "Let's."

* * *

 **A/N:** I love writing trans/enbie smut because it's awkward and complicated and too many people shy away from the body issues. WE NEED MORE SMUT-REP

Gratsu is OTP, but I'm kind of in love with these two as well. Maybe because I relate with Freed as a Supergay avid reader lololol

Drop a comment and tell me your thoughts. It helps me to hear from you lovelies.


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